Right and Wrong Ways to "Catch a Predator"

According to Reuters, the US Federal Courts will continue to hear the case dealing with the $100 million lawsuit against NBC. NBC's series, "To Catch a Predator" is being blamed for the suicide of a former Texas prosecutor who was caught up in its popular sting strategy.

Assistant district attorney Louis Conradt shot himself in November 2006 after police officers came to his home in Terrell, Texas, accompanied by an NBC news crew planning to film his arrest for the television show. Conradt was allegedly expecting to meet up with a 13-year-old boy he believed he was communicating with online.

The tension is over the issue of entrapment. Critics of To Catch a Predator say the show does not report news, but rather makes news by luring people into illegal activities they normally would not do. Supporters say this show has done a great service keeping potential child molestors away from our children. The results of the hearing seemed to side with the critics "a reasonable jury could find that NBC crossed the line from responsible journalism to irresponsible and reckless intrusion into law enforcement."

Media skews portrayal of internet sex offenders

In any given month, the news reports the story of Lacey, a 5th grade girl who was sharing intimate facts (as intimate as a 5th grader can be) with a fellow grade-school student from a neighboring school. Through chats, MySpace and text messages, Lacey and this boy have been planning to meet. After lying to her mom about meeting her girlfriends at the mall, Lacey’s mom drops her off. This young girl is then abducted, raped and then found dead in a ravine six weeks later. Come to find out, this 5th grade boy Lacey was talking to turned out to be a 40-year-old pedophile who had been sitting in the park stalking Lacey. This is the “stereotypical” situation but contrary to popular belief, not the typical cast in the screenplay of internet sex offenses.

Researchers from Crimes Against Children Center at the University of New Hampshire recently published a study showing “most online sex offenders are adults who target teens and seduce victims into sexual relationships.” By taking their time, the targeted youth (mainly female), see the relationship as a “romance” or a “sexual adventure.” Many girls also see this as a healthy relationship with an adult which they may be lacking at home.

According to the study’s authors, educational efforts directed specifically at teens might help them understand the negative aspects and incompatibility of a romantic relationship with an adult online. With frank, open and honest discussions of the behaviors that put one at risk of “internet-initiated sex crimes,” parents and educators may be able to reduce teens risk.

The study also showed that a use of social network sites (such as MySpace or Facebook) do not increase teens risk of becoming a victim of an online sex offender, but it may be the other risky behaviors that lead to trouble. Keeping a buddy list on an online chat program (YIM, AIM, Google chat, etc) that includes strangers, talking to those strangers about sex and “being rude” or “nasty” online (which honestly is quite a subjective idea) were all mentioned as risks. Unfortunately for me, simply writing this blog for you, I have put myself at risk; I’m talking to strangers about sex!

What do you think about the full article? Are you surprised to learn that the media isn’t always painting the “correct” picture?

For more opinions, check out
NetFamilyNews’ ‘Predator’ myths exposed: Study
Infocult: Information, Culture, Policy, Education’s post New study hits internet pedophile fears
Boston Public Schools Myths about online predators post
Perpetual Parenting’s post Most Internet Sex Offenders Target Teens, Not Kids

Better than class outdoors!

Brandon Hall Research announced in its newsletter that it held a meeting in Second Life. Benefits included a "novel environment" that energized and inspired creativity, being able to hold a meeting in a plesant setting (they chose outdoors with picnic tables), and seeing physical representations of those who they had only heard the voices of. Downsides include lack of practical meeting tools and inexperienced meeting goers finding it difficult to navigate.

Now that the weather is getting nicer where I live, students are starting to plead "can we have class outside?" I wish. I really do. But there is no way I could compete with the distractions of the sun, birds, and passers-by. Can you imagine having class in Second Life? Distractions could include:
1. Students changing outfits (or disrobing) in the middle of class.
2. Forget paper airplanes -- students themselves would fly around
3. All avatars would look hot and sexy, distracting the teacher.
4. Sex everywhere. Boring lecture? No problem. Just hump the avatar next to you...

So, the idea needs work. The Brandon Hall group even admitted that someone jumped into a nearby hottub at the end of their meeting.

An Offhand Remark

I teach a college level course in Human Sexuality and my guest speaker today was from a local organization that goes to different schools to talk to middle and high school students about sex and relationships (it's this last part that makes the program particularly unique). During the class, the speaker discussed some of the activities and topics that they address in secondary education -- one of them being the importance of setting sexual limits with partners. So, the speaker asks the class: "What is a good way to talk about sexual limits with someone that you are with?"

Without hesitation, someone in my class yells out "Talk to them about it on MySpace." Another said "IM them." It was the first time that my own students (who are "older youth," given that they are college students) were offering online solutions to relationship problems. It made me realize that my "target population" is no longer only in secondary education. They are right in front of me.

A Tragic Story

Dr. Kathryn Faughey, a psychologist who specialized in relationship therapy, was murdered in her office in Manhattan last night. Faughey was an expert in addressing the role the internet plays in not only romances, but also in break-ups, counseling her clients on how to destroy all lingering memories and artifacts of failed relationships that can be found on the computer. She was featured in a NY Times article on how the internet and digital technology impact ending relationships.

On a day that is supposedly (thanks, Hallmark and other commercial venues) supposed to be about love and togetherness, we are reminded brutally that those who try to mend broken hearts place themselves at risk.

Concerned about Internet Safety? Think "Old" School

A recent study in Pediatrics (summarized nicely here at PRNewswire) finds that youth are most likely to experience sexual solicitation and harassment in IMs -- not on social networking sites. More specifically, harassments were experienced at almost twice the rate on IM as compared to SN.

Crimes against "children" by "children"

Another news feature on youth distributing racy pictures of themselves that are legally considered pornography. This story is based out of Southwest Florida, where Lieutenant Tom Smith of Collier County's Child Sex Crime Unity is quoted as saying: "We've had 5-6 cases in the past six months where kids have been taking photos of themselves or friends engaged in sexual activity."

As with all these stories, the solution seems to be to talk with your kids about the ramifications of doing this. More superficial advice comes from the expert on teen internet use, Dr. Russ Sabella: "Consider giving them a cell phone with limited capabilities. Why do they need video recording capabilities on their cell phones anyway?" He also states that motivations for sending these pictures include wanting to mimic celebrity sex tapes.

I think getting behind youth motivation to send these pictures is key. If it is to imitate the celebs, then warning them about mass distribution of the photos would be a bad strategy (instead, it might be wiser to talk about the criminality of the act). If the goal for taking the picture is to impress a crush, better relationship education may be in order. If the reason is to get back at someone, we need to think about netiquette, cyberbullying prevention efforts, and empathy raising. But we won't know until we ask.

Cutest video ever!

In the spirit of sharing links and encouraging sex education online, I want to show off Marvin and his Condom Friends -- an animated short about proper condom use designed for middle schoolers. Marvin's story is part of a larger sex ed curriculum It's Your Game, Keep It Real that includes both in-class and computer-based lessons. He and the condom team are cute and seem to go over the basics on proper condom use. Except what happened to the important lesson of leaving room at the tip? This video gets it right, but isn't as entertaining as talking condoms. And the follow-up interactive lesson provided by It's Your Game does make a point of it, but IMO, can be overlooked.

I'd love to know what you think! Would you be happy to see Marvin at your middle school? What would you do if you saw a thirteen-year-old checking out these videos?

Back from Sex::Tech!

Whew! What a great experience. I was exhausted at the end of both days, mostly because I think there was a lot to process. Most the conferences I go to are of the "academic nerd" type, and focus mostly on research. The sex::tech conference was mostly about what people are DOING. I liked that change of pace, but sometimes I struggled with it because I wanted to know if things actually WORKED.

Best overall resource goes to Sexuality and U, based out of Canada. Lots of interactive tools as well as information -- I especially like the contraceptive choice tool, but it's hard to pass up the Sex-Fu Challenge -- who doesn't want to become a Master in that domain? The representatives of Sexuality and U were very open about admitting to the lack of diversity on their site, especially in relation to sexual minority populations. But they are working on it! It was also cool to hear that Advocates for Youth will also be updating their site, adding more interactive features.

One of the big take-away messages for me was that we are all struggling to figure out the best ways to use technology to help youth live safer, happier and fulfilling lives. The emphasis on positivity as opposed to fear was refreshing. And the abundance of youth present at the sessions kept us honest and in-check. If, after all, we claim to want to help these folks, not including them in our discussions is a big mistake. A special thanks to all who attended and extra kudos to those who were brave enough to speak out.

Cyberbullying and sexuality

In converstations and presentations, I have often remarked on how in coverage of cyberbullying, the sexual component is often ignored -- yet it is an integral part of this phenomenon. Another example of how cyberbullying and sexuality often go hand in hand is the story featured in the San Jose Mercury News this week about a "practical joke" in which classmates placed an ad in a 15-year-old's name soliciting sex with men, listing his home phone number. They also hacked into his MySpace profile, changing his orientation to "gay." The boy and his family received a ton of phone calls and the boy himself ended up dropping out of school over the incident.

The article in the Mercury chooses to focus on cyberbullying in general, why it happens (the anonymity effect), and how this type of bullying leaves a "paper trail" making it easy to catch those who do it. But the sex conversation is lost, even though the other example given concerned a "slut list" of 23 girls created on MySpace by San Jose middle school students.

At the Sex Tech Conference this week, I hope to convey the message that talk about cyberbullying and online safety cannot be done without explicitly talking about sex and sexuality. They are so intertwined -- why is sex not entering the conversation? Well, we know why -- because sex talk is avoided whenever possible. But if we are to create effective interventions around healthy internet use, this disconnect needs to end.

Virtual Today, Reality Tomorrow

The cover story of my alumni rag, The Stanford Magazine, gives us a sneak peek into how researchers there are investigating the effects of online interactions and subsequent IRL behaviors. Example: people who were assigned more attractive avatars on a mock online dating site were more likely to approach more attractive people in a real-life interaction later on. Conclusion? We looked good during the online encounter and therefore our confidence increased; that confidence continued into our physical world existence and behaviors. Crazy, huh?

Here's something a little more creepy. Dr. Nick Yee, a researcher at Stanford's Virtual Human Interaction Lab, has noted that the virtual world of Second Life tends to be an exaggerated, stereotypical version of the one we currently live in. And the avatars tend to reflect "an overemphasis on looking stereotypically good." The implications? Gender stereotypes and expectations of beauty are reinforced, not challenged. Uh-oh. I know I am guilty of this. My avatar in Second Life (a total noob, but she is out there once in a Blue Moon) is sexy and cute, and she could just as easily be the opposite. But it's hard to do something like that. I don't think I would enjoy walking around looking less than spectacular. That may say something -- a lot -- about who I am, but I am by no means alone. I want to look good and Second Life offers me that option.

This work piggybacks on previous research that states that youth tend to engage in online pretending more to create an ideal self -- a slightly exaggerated version of who they already are -- not to reinvent themselves. So, if they create an ideal self, will they become it? Stay tuned. There's more work to be done.

Self-Promotion for the Greater Good

As a professional sex educator, I belong to AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. One group of savvy, dedicated, people. The listserv there is an invaluable resource for those of us who yearn for sound information and advice about working in this field. Yeah, sex can be lonely at times.

Currently, there is a discussion thread on the value of self-promotion. And a particular post struck me. It was written by M. Francesca Gentille, of Personal Life Media; I post an excerpt from it with her permission:

"If we choose not do undertake when we are authors, media producers, workshop leaders, counselors, educators and/or therapists, we may be failing the very community we wish to serve.

Why? Because without promotion (etc) they won't be able to find us, even when they are seeking us.

I imagine that promotion and marketing have gotten a bad name because we often perceive that soulless business corporations, that care less for our wellness than our cash, are manipulating our ego or arousal to have us purchase products we don't need. To reach the public, we must release this negative and limiting belief. We know our own intentions and product (information - education - training). We must breakthrough our own resistance and even the concerns of our peers, to reach out. I encourage us to continue to lovingly support, cheer on, encourage, and applaud one another's efforts of promotion.

As Marty says, there is a war against vibrant sexuality in our country (and in other countries as well). It is an often a covert war of manipulation, misinformation, and scapegoating. It takes courage, commitment, and endurance to keep fighting this war in our minds, our bodies, our homes, our religions, our offices, our schools, our workshops, and in our media ( books, articles, interviews, radio, and TV).

It is hard enough "out there." At times I have been vilified by my neighbors for being a sex counselor. (Due to their fears and misinterpretations)... kudo's to ALL of you for your efforts out in the world. Let me know how I may support you to do more and be more effective in getting your message out to the world."

Since I could not have said it better myself, I didn't try. Thank you, Francesca, and if any of you out there need help promoting your quest for healthy sexuality (not those money-making "soulless" gimmicks referred to above), let me know.

All but one: 49 states sign off on MySpace safety rules

MySpace and 49 U.S. state attorneys general agreed on some safety guidelines for protecting youths on the Internet. According to Reuters, measures include creating an e-mail registry that would allow parents to prevent their children from creating an online profile for the network and making the default profile setting for 16 and 17-year-olds "private" "so they can only be contacted by people they know, making it harder for sexual predators to find them."

Texas was the only state to abstain (gee, I see a trend with that place....)

Although I appreciate the sincerity behind creating these guidelines, I still feel they aren't taking us in the right direction -- and potentially leave people with a false sense of security. Creating a registry to prevent a youth from creating an online profile? Wow, that's a stumbling block. It's so hard to get a new email account to bypass this hurdle. It might take 5 minutes out of a youth's busy day! And it's not like there aren't other options. Only MySpace is a part of this deal. What about the other social networking sites? Or is MySpace the only trouble area in the eyes of the attorneys general?

And making the default setting for older teens "private"? I haven't looked into this (not being 16 or 17 myself, thank goddess), but I am assuming the default can be changed by said youth if desired. Or, the oh-so-difficult process of lying about one's age can overcome anything that is perceived as a barrier. That is, if one wants to have a public profile. Many teens choose to keep things private. So, these aren't the youth that will benefit from this change in regulations. They are already protecting themselves!

Midwest Teen Sex Show on CBS

CBS reports on The Midwest Teen Sex Show, a video available for podcast that addresses teen sexuality using a young, frank, silly approach. Though touted in this article as "sex ed," I don't think that is what the Teen Sex Show is. I like how sex educator Erika Pluhar states it in the CBS article: "I would want them to be dialogue starters, rather than stop, period, end of sentence." And indeed, the show itself has a disclaimer identifying it as entertainment and a conversation starter. And even in one of the blog comments, creator Nikol says "We are not educators. We do not pretend to be. This is not an educational site and it is not intended for children to view."

So, why CBS calls it "education" is beyond me.

The show does address some very taboo topics. Anal sex, for one. While there is some good information hidden among the dialogue (ease your way into it, make sure you use plenty of lube), I wonder if the focus on "poop" is for humor or to somehow turn youth off to the idea while simultaneously offering information. Hard to tell. Based on the comments offered by people, they seemed to like the "do unto others" moral of the story and ignored the "messy" focus all together.

Your Vote Counts!

Vote for your favorite video submitted to the Fresh Focus Video Contest: Why Is Sex So Interesting and Sex Ed So Boring?

There's great variety in the finalists -- humor, heart-wrenching stories, animation, real-life, true stories, they are all worth a look!

I can't wait to see who wins when I go to the Sex Tech Conference in a couple of weeks!

Getting Personal Online

The cover feature of November 2007's APA Monitor (yeah, I am a bit behind in my reading), was Children and the Internet. One of the features, "Socially Wired," specifically addressed how and with whom teens interact online. A good portion of the article features the results of a study conducted in the Netherlands by Dr. Patti M. Valkenberg. Among the interesting findings:

• Teens who communicated online felt closer to their friends.
• Almost 1/3 of teens said they were better able to share intimate information about themselves online than in person -- especially when interacting with the opposite sex.

I would be interested in seeing whether there were any strong gender differences; my hunch would be that boys may be more likely to disclose online that in person, given that they are more likely to be socialized out of expressing feelings face-to-face. Or maybe the gender expectations about self-disclosure simply parallel those that we see offline. Hopefully we will see more studies like these in the future.

What Inspires Us?

An "interesting" article in the Washington Post takes issue with academics who study social networking. I know a lot of people who begrudge the Ivory Tower, but never had I seen it so blatantly attacked and mocked. To quote: "The culture of academia is like a land rush: professors poised around the edges of each new intellectual territory, waving flags emblazoned with theoretical frameworks, making frenzied dashes to stake claim on new topics, ready to shoot trespassers." Or how about " The lingo makes you want to give everyone with a PhD an atomic wedgie." I mean, really.

I'll admit: academe is a very competitive career choice, especially if you desire the all-coveted tenure-track position (note: I have opted not to go this route, placing me somewhat on the outside of this article's target range). And it is important in academe to publish, be noticed, and get the grant money flowing your way. But, is that why some are choosing to study social networking? Possibly, but I am not sure how likely that is.

Why do I study the internet? Because it's cool. It's fun and interesting. It's literally changed the entire way we communicate with each other. It's changed the process of learning. That's heavy stuff. Sure, MySpace is usually seen as a time waster, but a lot of living goes on in there, other SN sites, and virtual worlds like Second Life. Why shouldn't the intellectually curious be fascinated by it all?

Maybe I'm being defensive. It's a natural reaction. Or maybe articles like these make me realize it's important for people who study certain topics (usually those related to human interactions and phenomena) to be more transparent about their motivations for doing so. We don't pick topics out of mid-air to study. Sure, sometimes an advisor or mentor steers us in a certain direction, but those of us who decide to enter the 21st grade as it were, choose to be in school that long because something interests us to the point of obsession or passion. Or we have some internal itch to scratch. As my college boyfriend would say "Us Psychology majors are all here for a reason."

Rarely are we motivated to do what we do just to see our name in the newspaper. And if we are, then we are misguided -- there are much easier ways to do that.

Note: Chuck Tryon, an assistant professor of film and media studies at Fayetteville State University blogs about this attack on academics much more eloquently than I.

Why Is Sex So Interesting and Sex Ed So Boring?

Here's a cool video contest for youth. DoGooderTV and Advocates for Youth are joining forces to host an opportunity for young people to use digital tech to talk about their sex education or tell people how to make it better. First prize gets $3500. No small potatoes!

I personally can't wait to see the entries, some of which are already posted here. As a professor of Human Sexuality at the college level, I have collected the stories of students' "sex education so far." And the themes I read, by and large, are quite negative, or uninspiring at best. It will be great to hear youth tell us a thing or two about how to do our job!

Ego Surfing: Guilty as Charged

Another new report from Pew Internet and American Life finds that almost half of Internet users (47%) have searched for information about themselves online. I've done it. It's sort of interesting, actually. For example, did you know that I hold the Colorado high school record for longest field goal? OK, I guess someone else must share the same name as I, but it's cool to think of the possibility...

Funny thing is, most online adults (61%) don't really do much to limit the amount of information about them online. Is this one of those cases when we tell our youth "do as I say, not as I do?"

Girlspace

A new report released by Pew Internet and American Life shows that girls are more likely than boys to use social media (blogs, social networking sites, etc.). More than one-third of girls (35%) blog, compared to only one in five boys. Older online girls (ages 15-17) are more likely to have used social networking sites than boys the same age --70% vs. 54%. And over half of girls stated they have posted a photo online -- 40% of boys have done the same. Boys, however, are more likely to post videos. Almost one in five boys (19%) have done so compared to only 10% of girls.

These gender difference seem to parallel the typical gender roles that we see already. Girls are more likely to express and stay in touch. Ergo, they blog and have online profiles. And boys are more likely to be techhies. Therefore, they post videos.

But no matter what content these youth are posting online, they are getting reactions: the majority of youth who post content online say they get comments at least "sometimes." Three-quarters post comments themselves. What they do is truly social networking

You can read a summary of the report at the San Jose Mercury News.