Facebook is on the market. BusinessWeek Online reports that the owners of the privately held company have turned down a $750 million offer and hope to sell for as much as $2 billion. You may think of Facebook as a mere shadow of MySpace (at least in terms of media attention) but it is a powerhouse of its own. According to comScore Media Metrix, it is the 7th most trafficked site in all the internet. MySpace remains the second most visited website, sandwiched between Yahoo and Google. Last year it was sold to Rupert Murdoch's media empire last year for "only" $580 million. How much a year changes things.
So despite the bad press, social networking sites remain popular and apparently expensive. Given that big business does not seem to be concerned over the bad publicity of these sites as breeding grounds for predators, it doesn't look as though they are going to fade into the woodwork anytime soon. All the more reason to talk about them in a healthly, constructive environment to really understand the benefits as well as the dangers they bring.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
At least there's the EU
For the next four days, I will be taking in the sights and sounds of the biennial conference of the Society for Research on Adolescence. This morning was great because I went to a whole special interest group session on adolescent romantic relationships (when you are among researchers and academics, you think about "adolescent phenomena", not "teen issues" or "stuff"). I heard from those whose work I have followed and admired for years. I listened to the new wave of thinking in which researchers have started to look at the healthy aspects of adolescent sexuality and sexual expression (note: it was acknowledged that this sort of research is essentially not fundable in today's political climate).
But no one there mentioned the internet as a factor in conceptualizing adolescent sexual, intimate, or romantic relationships.
OK, I said, I still have several sessions to go. I took a look at the program. The terms "internet" and "online" were not in the index. Some computer-related studies were found under "technology" but none addressed socialization. Finally, after scouring the pages of this program, I found THREE papers related to teens, sex, and the internet. OK, I really only found ONE, as the other two were simply related to teen internet usage and family structure and the relationship between internet use and self-injurious behavior. The one study that actually examined teens using the internet for sexual expression was conducted by researchers in the Czech Republic. The study on teen internet usage and family came from Berlin.
Why is America so behind the times?
But no one there mentioned the internet as a factor in conceptualizing adolescent sexual, intimate, or romantic relationships.
OK, I said, I still have several sessions to go. I took a look at the program. The terms "internet" and "online" were not in the index. Some computer-related studies were found under "technology" but none addressed socialization. Finally, after scouring the pages of this program, I found THREE papers related to teens, sex, and the internet. OK, I really only found ONE, as the other two were simply related to teen internet usage and family structure and the relationship between internet use and self-injurious behavior. The one study that actually examined teens using the internet for sexual expression was conducted by researchers in the Czech Republic. The study on teen internet usage and family came from Berlin.
Why is America so behind the times?
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Online Dating
Hot off the press! (OK, it was released March 5, but close enough, right?). Pew Internet and American Life release a report on online dating:
Although this study polled adults, it's got some interesting tidbits on the online world's perception about meeting people online. What it points out is a bit of paradoxical thinking.
About a third of respondents know someone who has used online dating -- only 10% have copped to it themselves.
Two thirds say that internet dating is dangerous.
Half agree that a lot of people lie about their marital status online
Most (61%) say that the internet is not a "last resort" way to find romance
Or maybe this isn't so much paradoxical as it is an example of how the public isn't really sure what to think of all of this. They know people who use the service, but they think it is dangerous and a place of deceit -- yet it's not a "desperate" way to find love, just an alternative way.
Not surprisingly, younger people are more likely to use online dating than older people by about two-fold (10% vs almost 20%). So, the idea of making first contact onlne is becoming more common and seems to be more accepted among younger adults (under 30).
What was surprising to me was this stat: 45% of "single and looking" online users think internet dating is easier than looking IRL, but 45% don't think it is any easier. I would love to know why. Is it because people thought it would be a piece of cake and realized it takes effort? Did people not really think about what it would be like to be attracted to someone in the cyberworld and then potentially make the leap into the world of the physical?
I know a lot of people who have tried the online dating scene. I did so myself, and dated someone I first met online for about a year. But I have also known friends who have horror stories. Not the kind that make the papers, but I know about times when dates show up hammered and beligerent, dates who don't know when the evening is not going well and will not leave. But I am not sure how these situations are unique to online dating. My hunch is that they are not and that, unfortunately, these things happen on dates in general.
I hope I don't sound like a Johnny One-Note, but to me a lot of this comes back to fear of the unknown. We don't get internet dating, don't understand the cyber-social world, so it becomes a bad and scary place.
I just wish some of these studies would actually compare online to IRL instead of giving us numbers in a vaccuum.
Although this study polled adults, it's got some interesting tidbits on the online world's perception about meeting people online. What it points out is a bit of paradoxical thinking.
About a third of respondents know someone who has used online dating -- only 10% have copped to it themselves.
Two thirds say that internet dating is dangerous.
Half agree that a lot of people lie about their marital status online
Most (61%) say that the internet is not a "last resort" way to find romance
Or maybe this isn't so much paradoxical as it is an example of how the public isn't really sure what to think of all of this. They know people who use the service, but they think it is dangerous and a place of deceit -- yet it's not a "desperate" way to find love, just an alternative way.
Not surprisingly, younger people are more likely to use online dating than older people by about two-fold (10% vs almost 20%). So, the idea of making first contact onlne is becoming more common and seems to be more accepted among younger adults (under 30).
What was surprising to me was this stat: 45% of "single and looking" online users think internet dating is easier than looking IRL, but 45% don't think it is any easier. I would love to know why. Is it because people thought it would be a piece of cake and realized it takes effort? Did people not really think about what it would be like to be attracted to someone in the cyberworld and then potentially make the leap into the world of the physical?
I know a lot of people who have tried the online dating scene. I did so myself, and dated someone I first met online for about a year. But I have also known friends who have horror stories. Not the kind that make the papers, but I know about times when dates show up hammered and beligerent, dates who don't know when the evening is not going well and will not leave. But I am not sure how these situations are unique to online dating. My hunch is that they are not and that, unfortunately, these things happen on dates in general.
I hope I don't sound like a Johnny One-Note, but to me a lot of this comes back to fear of the unknown. We don't get internet dating, don't understand the cyber-social world, so it becomes a bad and scary place.
I just wish some of these studies would actually compare online to IRL instead of giving us numbers in a vaccuum.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Jokes for the times
I had to post this simply because it's about sex, the internet, and children. It also represents how some parents need speak in euphamisms when talking about sex with their children. I do like the fact that the boy goes to his dad, though. IRL, moms are the ones that usually get stuck giving "the talk."
Where Micros Come From
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button.....
Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
"You've Got Male!"
Where Micros Come From
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button.....
Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
"You've Got Male!"
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Dealing with "Generation Rx.com"
In 2001, the Kaiser Family Foundation released a report called "Generation Rx.com: How Young People Use the Internet for Health Information." Though the report is a bit out of date (one might call it ancient using the WWW calendar), but it's the best information we have about teens and their online health information seeking habits.
Back then, 75% of online youth looked up health information (compare that to 80% who got information about TV, music, or movies and 72% of youth who downloaded music). About 1/4 of 15-24 year-olds got "a lot" of information about health on the internet. One can assume that these numbers are increasing as the Internet becomes a more common source of all sorts of information.
Lots of adults look up health information online too. In fact, the percentage of online adults looking up health information is about the same as the percentage of online youth -- 75-80% depending on the source.
What IS different is the percentage of health information seekers who look up sexual health information. In the adult world, the percentage is about 10%; for youth, it vaults to 44%.
This vast difference in the health concerns of younger vs. older people may not be a surprise, but it is not without its implications. Searching for information on health can be a tricky business. Youth need to be savvy internet searchers, able to come up with "safe" search terms that do not result in links that, while sexual, may not contain the information they seek. In my experience, learning how to search online has been a trial-and-error ordeal. We should make sure people actually learn how to look up information online. The basics are easy to learn; to become a master at finding exactly what you are looking for takes skill and instruction.
Even if someone manages to find an "answer" to their question about sex, the information is not necessarily accurate. Inaccurate information on the internet abounds. Inaccurate information about sexual health is everywhere. Put the two together and odds are it is likely that the sexual health information someone finds on the web may not be quality information. Again, we need to educate our youth -- and everyone -- how to identify quality health information.
Problem is, there is no set definition of what quality health information is. There are several organizations that provide guidelines or lists to help an online health information seeker determine the quality of the information they read.
For some of the courses I teach, I have come up with a very basic model to assess quality health information. I call it the ABCs Model of Quality. To judge the quality of online health information, ask yourself about
A: the Author. Who wrote the information you are reading? Is the author even identified? See whether a doctor, journalist, or layman is behind those words.
B: the Business model. How is the site being funded? By a drug company? A church? The government? Funding sources bias content.
C: Whether the information Current? What is the date on the article? When was the site last updated? Information changes quickly. Get the latest facts related to your question.
S: The Sources that are quoted in the article you are reading. Do they come from reputable journals, the wisdom of someone's grandfather or the Bible?
I am not going to say which sources are the best. Different people will have different opinions there. The trick is to be aware of the "who" behind the information you read. That way you can think about their biases, motivations, and likely sources. Then you can judge for yourself whether you want to believe what you read.
It would be nice if we taught our youth how to be critical internet consumers. Their health may depend on it.
Back then, 75% of online youth looked up health information (compare that to 80% who got information about TV, music, or movies and 72% of youth who downloaded music). About 1/4 of 15-24 year-olds got "a lot" of information about health on the internet. One can assume that these numbers are increasing as the Internet becomes a more common source of all sorts of information.
Lots of adults look up health information online too. In fact, the percentage of online adults looking up health information is about the same as the percentage of online youth -- 75-80% depending on the source.
What IS different is the percentage of health information seekers who look up sexual health information. In the adult world, the percentage is about 10%; for youth, it vaults to 44%.
This vast difference in the health concerns of younger vs. older people may not be a surprise, but it is not without its implications. Searching for information on health can be a tricky business. Youth need to be savvy internet searchers, able to come up with "safe" search terms that do not result in links that, while sexual, may not contain the information they seek. In my experience, learning how to search online has been a trial-and-error ordeal. We should make sure people actually learn how to look up information online. The basics are easy to learn; to become a master at finding exactly what you are looking for takes skill and instruction.
Even if someone manages to find an "answer" to their question about sex, the information is not necessarily accurate. Inaccurate information on the internet abounds. Inaccurate information about sexual health is everywhere. Put the two together and odds are it is likely that the sexual health information someone finds on the web may not be quality information. Again, we need to educate our youth -- and everyone -- how to identify quality health information.
Problem is, there is no set definition of what quality health information is. There are several organizations that provide guidelines or lists to help an online health information seeker determine the quality of the information they read.
For some of the courses I teach, I have come up with a very basic model to assess quality health information. I call it the ABCs Model of Quality. To judge the quality of online health information, ask yourself about
A: the Author. Who wrote the information you are reading? Is the author even identified? See whether a doctor, journalist, or layman is behind those words.
B: the Business model. How is the site being funded? By a drug company? A church? The government? Funding sources bias content.
C: Whether the information Current? What is the date on the article? When was the site last updated? Information changes quickly. Get the latest facts related to your question.
S: The Sources that are quoted in the article you are reading. Do they come from reputable journals, the wisdom of someone's grandfather or the Bible?
I am not going to say which sources are the best. Different people will have different opinions there. The trick is to be aware of the "who" behind the information you read. That way you can think about their biases, motivations, and likely sources. Then you can judge for yourself whether you want to believe what you read.
It would be nice if we taught our youth how to be critical internet consumers. Their health may depend on it.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
MySpace in trouble -- but will the charges hold?
We all know about the news that speaks of the evils of MySpace, the dangers that lurk in that mysterious world. Slowly, cases are cropping up in which people are blaming MySpace for illicit encounters involving minors. MySpace has become a scapegoat for all the horrible things done to teens. While I understand the concerns and appreciate that people are looking for someone (or something) to blame when their children are sexually violated, I am very interested to see what level of liability will be attributed to MySpace in the courts.
If MySpace is found guilty of aiding in sexual abuse of a minor, where does the slippery slope end? Will a mall be held responsible if a child is abducted there? Will parents of a house party be blamed if a 15 year-old hooks up with a 19-year old during a party? When is the location to blame for the incident? When do we start blaming the car manufacturers for making a vehicle used in an abduction?
There are already some parallels in the legal world about who to blame when something bad happens. You can sue the bar that served a drunk person who was later involved in an accident while DUI. You can sue a school for creating a hostile environment in a sexual abuse case as long as you can prove the school knew about the incidents and did nothing. So, one could argue that MySpace is liable, as they are now aware of the environment they are creating (people who work at MySpace read the news too, unless they are managed by GW), and are not preventing "bad people" from interacting with minors.
But for now, there is only speculation. Court decisions will begin to define web sites as communities, physical spaces, or whatever when considering legal responsibilities. All we can do is wait to see how the law defines a virtual space when the only laws they have apply to the physical.
If MySpace is found guilty of aiding in sexual abuse of a minor, where does the slippery slope end? Will a mall be held responsible if a child is abducted there? Will parents of a house party be blamed if a 15 year-old hooks up with a 19-year old during a party? When is the location to blame for the incident? When do we start blaming the car manufacturers for making a vehicle used in an abduction?
There are already some parallels in the legal world about who to blame when something bad happens. You can sue the bar that served a drunk person who was later involved in an accident while DUI. You can sue a school for creating a hostile environment in a sexual abuse case as long as you can prove the school knew about the incidents and did nothing. So, one could argue that MySpace is liable, as they are now aware of the environment they are creating (people who work at MySpace read the news too, unless they are managed by GW), and are not preventing "bad people" from interacting with minors.
But for now, there is only speculation. Court decisions will begin to define web sites as communities, physical spaces, or whatever when considering legal responsibilities. All we can do is wait to see how the law defines a virtual space when the only laws they have apply to the physical.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Finding Quality Sex Information
One would hope that finding trustworthy answers to your sex questions would be easy. It's not. Given our country's important emphasis on free speech, incorrect "factoids" about sex and other health issues (and heck, any issue for that matter) are abundant.
The preponderance of advice boards adds to the foray. In many places, anyone can post a question, and anyone can respond to said question. Even if these responses are well-intentioned, it doesn't mean they are accurate.
To take things further, sometimes professionals don't always agree on the facts of sexual health. Just today, on one of my listservs which is made up of sex therapists, educators, and health care professionals, there was high disagreement as to whether the herpes virus could be contracted via a vibrator. Some said never, some said only if shared with a person with active infections within mintues of viral contact, some said the virus could potentially live on the device for up to two weeks, using an analogy that some viruses can live in dried blood for that long, and if there was blood on the vibrator...
I can't give you the answer to this question, as it remained relatively unresolved. A medical professional consulted with an STD expert, but I am hesitant to say what she said in case it is not the correct response. In short, hundreds of "sexperts" could not come up with a difinitive answer to this question after debating it for several days. If that happens to us, imagine how a teen feels trying to find out the answer to her question about how to find out if she is pregnant or not? How does a guy even begin to sift through the information he finds about the relative safety of a particular sexual act (providing he even tries to go to more than one source)?
We need to educate EVERYONE about how to sift through all the crap on the web to find quality information. And then, we simply hope that that quality information is actually right.
The preponderance of advice boards adds to the foray. In many places, anyone can post a question, and anyone can respond to said question. Even if these responses are well-intentioned, it doesn't mean they are accurate.
To take things further, sometimes professionals don't always agree on the facts of sexual health. Just today, on one of my listservs which is made up of sex therapists, educators, and health care professionals, there was high disagreement as to whether the herpes virus could be contracted via a vibrator. Some said never, some said only if shared with a person with active infections within mintues of viral contact, some said the virus could potentially live on the device for up to two weeks, using an analogy that some viruses can live in dried blood for that long, and if there was blood on the vibrator...
I can't give you the answer to this question, as it remained relatively unresolved. A medical professional consulted with an STD expert, but I am hesitant to say what she said in case it is not the correct response. In short, hundreds of "sexperts" could not come up with a difinitive answer to this question after debating it for several days. If that happens to us, imagine how a teen feels trying to find out the answer to her question about how to find out if she is pregnant or not? How does a guy even begin to sift through the information he finds about the relative safety of a particular sexual act (providing he even tries to go to more than one source)?
We need to educate EVERYONE about how to sift through all the crap on the web to find quality information. And then, we simply hope that that quality information is actually right.
Friday, February 17, 2006
The MySpace Trend
MySpace has been the target of a lot of bad press recently -- some of it rightly so, given the news about how a child molester used this site to assault young girls. Unfortunately, MySpace is not the only website used in this manner. So why pick on it more than the others? Simple: MySpace is huge. It was the 8th most visited site in January 2006 (comScore Media Metrix).
MySpace allows anyone 14 and over to post a profile. In just over two years, it has over 54 million viewers with 150,000 signing up every day. About 1 in 4 are minors, according to the New York Sun (Wall Street Journal reports that 19% of users are under 17).
So, what you have essentially is a community of 54 million people -- some adults, some children. Some good people, some not so good people, some bad people. In a virtual city with a population of California and Texas combined, there are bound to be bad people. While it's important to emphasize internet safety, we should also remember that cyberspace is just one place where the bad guys hang out. It's also a place where some good people hang out too.
MySpace allows anyone 14 and over to post a profile. In just over two years, it has over 54 million viewers with 150,000 signing up every day. About 1 in 4 are minors, according to the New York Sun (Wall Street Journal reports that 19% of users are under 17).
So, what you have essentially is a community of 54 million people -- some adults, some children. Some good people, some not so good people, some bad people. In a virtual city with a population of California and Texas combined, there are bound to be bad people. While it's important to emphasize internet safety, we should also remember that cyberspace is just one place where the bad guys hang out. It's also a place where some good people hang out too.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Our three biggest fears
I think one of the reasons there is so much sensationalism around teen internet use is because this phenomenon touches on three of our society's biggest mysteries: teens, sex, and technology. Thus, I have renamed my blog "The Virtual Mystery Tour."
I think it's important for us adults to understand the teen cyberworld without infringing upon it. Teen cyberspace is precious to them because it is relatively confidential and it's been primarily their domain -- it's the secret clubhouse, or the big homemade "do not disturb" sign hung outside their bedroom doors. Teens are the first generation who have grown up with the World Wide Web as an everyday part of their lives. They still deserve some privacy, but that shouldn't stop us from understanding it a little better so that we can understand its appeal.
I think it's important for us adults to understand the teen cyberworld without infringing upon it. Teen cyberspace is precious to them because it is relatively confidential and it's been primarily their domain -- it's the secret clubhouse, or the big homemade "do not disturb" sign hung outside their bedroom doors. Teens are the first generation who have grown up with the World Wide Web as an everyday part of their lives. They still deserve some privacy, but that shouldn't stop us from understanding it a little better so that we can understand its appeal.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Advice boards
I don't want to knock all advice boards. Some of them are good -- damn good. The one at Sex, Etc. www.sxetc.org is closely monitored and often has health experts answering questions. You will also get a lot of good information on Planned Parenthood's www.teenwire.com, and then there is www.gurl.com, which usually provides good information, but is less consistent.
Then, you go to larger web sites with more generalized discussion boards and get stuff like this:
Infection (3 replies) 02/03/2006
I think I might have a yeast infection. Can somebody tell me some symptoms to this and what exactly it is so I know if I should ask my doctor for help??
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
no, but it just is really itchy all the time.
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
a yeast infection is when ther e is somthing odd (normally food) down there, and ussually bugs come down there (eww, i know..) so think about it: have u been puttin stuff down there u shouldn't be?
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
if it hurts to pee and is itchy down there then it might be one. if you think you have one go to the drugstore and buy a box of monostat or whatever it's called. it will be gone in a couple days....
How is a teen supposed to know which advice to follow? What is good and what is bad information? And wouldn't you think that these larger, for-profit web sites with tons of advertising dollars would care enough to invest in a board moderator?
Then, you go to larger web sites with more generalized discussion boards and get stuff like this:
Infection (3 replies) 02/03/2006
I think I might have a yeast infection. Can somebody tell me some symptoms to this and what exactly it is so I know if I should ask my doctor for help??
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
no, but it just is really itchy all the time.
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
a yeast infection is when ther e is somthing odd (normally food) down there, and ussually bugs come down there (eww, i know..) so think about it: have u been puttin stuff down there u shouldn't be?
RE: Infection 02/03/2006
if it hurts to pee and is itchy down there then it might be one. if you think you have one go to the drugstore and buy a box of monostat or whatever it's called. it will be gone in a couple days....
How is a teen supposed to know which advice to follow? What is good and what is bad information? And wouldn't you think that these larger, for-profit web sites with tons of advertising dollars would care enough to invest in a board moderator?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
An experiment
I went to myspace.com to see how teens present themselves to the world. Since I am interested in sex and relationships, I browsed women, aged 18-19 who were single and looking for dating or a relationship. Some of the screen names on the first page were:
xUrBaNxFanTasY
Love Me
Tingles
Tequilia Makes My Clothes Fall Off
Baby Girl
BaBy DeVIL
sexychica18
PriceLess Beauty is wearing a fur coat and lingerie. When you click on her link, her website states that she is "the best thing that NEVER happened to you."
xUrBaNxFanTasY doesn't have much information in her space, but her entire "About Me" section consists of a single phrase:
xSouLxLesSx
Two women are in bikinis -- one didn't even bother to include her face.
These are the ways that young women choose to represent themselves to the online community in hopes of finding a relationship.
xUrBaNxFanTasY
Love Me
Tingles
Tequilia Makes My Clothes Fall Off
Baby Girl
BaBy DeVIL
sexychica18
PriceLess Beauty is wearing a fur coat and lingerie. When you click on her link, her website states that she is "the best thing that NEVER happened to you."
xUrBaNxFanTasY doesn't have much information in her space, but her entire "About Me" section consists of a single phrase:
xSouLxLesSx
Two women are in bikinis -- one didn't even bother to include her face.
These are the ways that young women choose to represent themselves to the online community in hopes of finding a relationship.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Is cybersex so bad?
Despite the popularity of the online sex industry, when experts talk about it -- cybersex, online porn -- it's always cast negatively. Most of the books and psychological literature focus on addiction, harm, and ruined lives. While I would be totally naive to deny this point of view, it’s possible – and probably more likely – that online sexual activities are quickly becoming a normal aspect of one’s sexual identity development and discovery.
Think about it. According to comScore Media Metrix, 71.9 million people visited adult sites in August 2005, reaching 42.7 percent of the Internet audience. A survey conducted by MSNBC and Elle magazine found that 81% of men and 53% of women have used the Internet to look at erotic images or engage in “sexy talk.” Although the representativeness of a poll sponsored by the mass media has its limitations, the large percentages make it seem likely that several persons within a counselor’s client base are using the Internet for sexual purposes.
There is no way there are that many sex addicts amongst us. It sounds more like there are just a lot of people who are curious about sex.
Think about it. According to comScore Media Metrix, 71.9 million people visited adult sites in August 2005, reaching 42.7 percent of the Internet audience. A survey conducted by MSNBC and Elle magazine found that 81% of men and 53% of women have used the Internet to look at erotic images or engage in “sexy talk.” Although the representativeness of a poll sponsored by the mass media has its limitations, the large percentages make it seem likely that several persons within a counselor’s client base are using the Internet for sexual purposes.
There is no way there are that many sex addicts amongst us. It sounds more like there are just a lot of people who are curious about sex.
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