"The Naked Generation"

Welcome to the Naked Generation, proclaims a blog posting on CNet News written by Caroline McCarthy, a young Manhattan socialite who believes that the web can actually help one's social life. The Naked Generation is that group of people who choose to use the web as a means of self-promotion. In her words: "The Naked Generation is something different: its figureheads are smart, business-savvy young adults, typically in emerging creative fields, who see the embarrassing antics of 'MySpace kids' and their emotional outpourings, and see a window of opportunity. They're smart, and they know it, so they think they can use online exhibition as an advantage rather than an embarrassment."

But even by her own admission, "think" is the operative word here. What are the repercussions of putting your life online? It's simply too soon to tell. Some people have made a name for themselves by doing so, others have simply added more ignored material to the information super highway. For those who have made their mark, what impression does it leave? And for those who tried to get noticed but failed, how does it impact them?

It's hard for me to imagine what, besides complete narcissism, is going on in the minds of these "meta-exhibitionists." And there is evidence to back that up -- research conducted earlier this year found that college students are more self-centered than ever before.

Is it time for Sesame Street and other educational television shows to send a message to kids that they aren't so special after all?

Men Have Needs Too!

Most of the online dating advice given out has been geared towards women. Here is a small exception from the Yahoo! Personals Blog: 7 Reasons Why She Didn't Write Back. Although the information itself seems pretty basic to me -- don't talk about exes, read the profile of the person you are responding to -- the comments from readers make me believe that maybe the advice is warranted. My favorite:
"Addressing one as "babe" or "angel" is not a good way to introduce yourself."

This is good too:
"DO NOT copy your driver's license photo and put in online. Yes, I've seen it done--yuck!"
Ed Note: This could work if you are smiling purdy. But has a guy ever smiled for his license?

Is there that little common sense out there in cyberspace?

Making Time for the Big "O"

...If by the Big "O," you mean "online," that is. According to Reuters, 20 percent of 1,011 American adults said they spend less time having sex because of the amount of time they spend online. The survey was conducted by advertising agency JWT.

Are these people part of the 38 million people who visited adult Web sites and spent an average of about 90 minutes there in December 2005? Or the 13% of Americans who said they have visited an adult web site or 4% who have downloaded and/or shared adult material according to Pew Internet and American Life? Or are these people just playing video games instead?

Dating Violence and the Internet

Recent research out of Kansas State University, as reported by Yahoo, finds that "Approximately 30 percent of college students have been in relationships that involve physical aggression. Even more have been in relationships that are emotionally abusive." That is a very unsettling rate.

What can be done about it? Sites such as Love Is Respect, funded by Liz Claiborne, allow people who are being abused or harmed to seek help easily and possibly easier than calling a local hot line. The live chat option is available from the late afternoon to early morning, the times when people are more likely to be able to go online.

And the people behind the site seem to be pretty savvy about issues of privacy and tracking. Before you can even enter the site, there is a warning about computer monitoring accompanied by a phone number in case the computer is not deemed safe. Similarly, throughout the site, there are warnings about the true anonymity of online usage.

An example of some of the positive ways that the internet can impact teen sexuality and relationships.

Playboy U

The LA Times reports that Playboy will be launching its own social networking site called Playboy U. Although the site does not permit nudity, it naturally hosts several pictures of scantily-clad members of the Playboy mansion. Featured message topics focus on penis size and the number of persons one has slept with.

Aimed at college students, Playboy U "managed to get 2,000 members from 500 colleges in early beta tests." Only those with an email address ending in a .edu will be permitted to join.

Look out Tila Tequila -- here comes the competition!

I hope this does not become a new source of sex education for young men -- but it probably will be, since schools are teaching less and less of it. From the stories I have heard from my students, Playboy and other "adult" magazines are often one of the main places that boys learn about sex (girls too, for that matter). I see no reason why that wouldn't expand to its internet site.

Only 1,999,877 to Go!

Tila Tequila built her entire celebrity status through her page on MySpace. She currently has over 2,000,000 friends. Yes, I counted the decimals right. No, I am not one of them. Now, according to TV Week, Tila is the star of her own dating show, “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila," which will premiere on MTV October 9th. What makes her unique -- aside from her self-created career -- is the fact that this dating show will be the first whose dating pool consists of both men and women. I'll let Tila explain it herself -- here's a quote from her blog:

"My show is about finding true love, because for me....having over 2 million friends is cool but sometimes it makes it hard for me to find someone real, and someone whom I can trust and love.....but there is a catch.....the show will be about me finding love as a BISEXUAL!!!!! THAT IS CRAZY RIGHT? So on my new reality show there will be 16 male contestants and 16 female contestants all fighting for my love....the only twist is....yes, there is another twist....the only twist is that these guys and these girls have NO IDEA that I am bisexual and that they are competing against each others sexes!!! GUYS AGAINST GIRLS....WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????"

Tila is not exactly the best role model. It's not her bisexuality that is of any relevance to me, it's more the way she exploits herself and glamorizes her life of sex and drugs. Her page is littered with all sorts of interesting "facts" about her rise to fame: "Eventually tiring of Houston, she made her rounds to New York, where she experimented with drugs and a hardcore lifestyle. Tired of her all female mnage et trois relationship (sic), she headed to Los Angeles where at 18, she was scouted by Playboy, and eventually became their first ever Asian Cyber Girl of the Month." And she just launched her own online poker site and is almost finished with her first album!

And "finding "true love through a reality TV show? Puh-leez. Just ask Joe Millionaire's Evan and Zora (and so many other couples who have looked for partners this way) how well it works.

Hopefully there aren't too many young girls out there who hope to follow in her footsteps. At this rate, I'll take Paris any day.

Picking on the Intern

Maybe I am asking too much, or maybe I should just relax. Actually, I know I should just relax. But I found another column by that CNet intern that drives me a little crazy. This one is all about dating advice in the land of Facebook. She makes some decent points, like "Don't post makeout pictures on MySpace," so it's worth the read despite the fact that she also states to not judge a person by their MySpace page and then proceeds to make a strong judgment about boys who post pictures "where he's flexing his abs while simultaneously doing a thumbs up" (Advice: "Stay. Away."). Ah, teenagers.

Here's her situation: She's at a party, where she sees a gorgeous hunk with dreamy eyes. She admires him from afar. I can totally relate to this -- I think this happened to me every other day in high school and college. Then, she goes home and looks up Mr. Dreamy Eyes on Facebook by hunting down his profile through mutual friends. I can still sort of relate. I remember trying to casually ask mutual friends about that random dude while not really cluing in on the fact that I thought he was sexy as hell. I am sure I fooled no one (but I thought I was clever). Finally, after "a series of flirty messages, followed by some text messages and one phone call," she and Dreamy Eyes agree to go out. My parallel? Those random "I just happened to pass your dorm room (or locker) and you were there" chats leading to something else. It's the same, just a little different. The modern 2.0 version is somewhat more removed, but the steps are pretty similar.

While it's cool that she sets up the scenario of how meeting someone through the internet and then dating IRL might work, her hypocrisy is all-too apparent. While she herself admits to making initial contact online, she makes her first rule of teen dating in the digital age "When possible, strike up an in-person conversation before cyberstalking." Oops. Maybe this paradox is the result of an overbearing editor? Or maybe she is just a typical adolescent who wants everyone to do as she says, and not as she does. Who knows, but it set me off a bit for some bizarre reason.

At least I'm not the only one who calls her on it. Her first comment reads: " WAIT, SO YOU WANT GUYS TO NOT DO WHAT YOU DID? IM CONFUSED. IF MR. RIGHT WAS THERE AT THE PARTY, WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY TO SPARK CONVERSATION WITH HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING TO THE COMPUTER?"

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Teen to see jail time for stupidity

In Florida, a teen will get 30 days in jail for posting a nekked picture of his ex-girlfriend on a social networking site. He was 17, she was 15, when the picture was taken (consensually) and posted (not consensually). They were going out at the time of the posting.

He was charged with child abuse and attempted child abuse according to CBS news. This accusation was dropped from a sex crime charge which would have led him to become a registered sex offender.

Do you think these charges are justified? Did this boy get what he deserved? Was the punishment too harsh?

Although this may be one of the first instances, you can bet it isn't going to be the last. Not by a long shot.

I'm Almost "Old"

Teenager Sabeba Suri publishes her musings on ZDNet.com about why 40-year-olds want to be on Facebook. Although somewhat amusing to hear this perspective, her post is simplistic at best, offensive and callous at worst. She ultimately concludes that it is just plain "creepy" for people over 40 to use social networking. I think the major flaw of her argument is that she is confusing "old folks" using SN with them contacting her and other teens via SN. I agree that the latter can be pretty "creepy," while the former would, ultimately, be none of her business. If non-hip, non-teen people want to use SN, why should she even notice? Wouldn't it be just as "creepy" if a 17-year-old wanted to befriend a 40-year-old? Note: if that happens to you, I bet you it is To Catch a Predator looking for TV fodder, so don't take the bait.

Some of the responders to her post raise some excellent exceptions as to why older persons may be contacting those significantly younger than they are. How about teachers who want to stay in touch with students (hey! that's me!), or relatives who live far away and are not as savvy to Skype? The most powerful response, however, is one from a person in the military who states:

"So I am 30, and I talk to 18 year olds on a social networking site. Why? I am in the military and 90% of my troops are ages 18 to 21. Now I don't have anyone on my friends list who is not family or close to me and no friends on my list are under 21. But, I talk to 18 year olds. Why, if one of my soldiers has a problem, how do I relate to them? They would loose confidence in me and wouldn't come to me if I could not communicate effectively in their language. That Means I must stay current, and sometimes it helps to bounce ideas off of other people their age to get perspective. I also spend sometimes 200 plus days away from home, thousands of miles away. When I can get time to send a message home to say I am alive, It's a little easier with a post, I'll save the phone call for my family."

While I will try to be sympathetic to a teen's limited perspective, it would help if her editors shed a little light on the matter before writing such a hostile post.

Global Curiosity

Nigerian school children who received computers through the One Laptop Per Child group are apparently looking up porn. The non-profit organization stated that from now on it would install filters on the machines.

No Second Chance

Florida now lists teens as young as 14 on the state's sex offender registry, according to the Sun-Sentinel. Florida legislators unanimously approved the law, citing the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act as justification (note: complying with this Act can result in significant federal funding). According to the article, "The Adam Walsh Act, which went into effect last year, requires children 14 and older who engage in genital, anal or oral-genital contact with children younger than 12 to be included in community-notification laws, such as the predator list."

Critics of the law state that parents, who are often the first to learn of teens' behaviors, "may be reluctant to seek help for their children if they will be labeled and their families' homes identified on the sex offender list." Thus, the behaviors will go unreported and the youth will not receive treatment or counseling. Other critics argue that a minor who commits sex offenses should be treated and rehabilitated -- not punished for the rest of his or her life.

Currently, in accordance with Megan's Law, a person who is classified as a sex offender has to register for the rest of his or her life -- and any contact information needs to be made available to the pubic. However, a person can petition to be removed after a minimum of 10 years.

For Research Nerds

danah boyd is compiling a list of all research on Social Networking. View the list here and write her a comment here to add any missing cites.

A level head in a sea of panic

You can always count on Larry Magid and Anne Collier of Blog Safety and Net Family News for a solid perspective on online predators. Last week they published an editorial in the San Jose Mercury News entitled Tell teens about good, bad sides of social networking. Here are the highlights:

• MySpace has announced it has deleted 29,000 profiles of sexual predators. Assuming that there were no duplicates, that represents less than 5% of the known sexual predators in the US.
• Using a news analysis, out of the 12 million teens online, 100 have been victims of sexual exploitation. That percentage is too small to calculate.
• None of the youth that have been sexually exploited as a result of an online sexual predator were kidnapped -- all went willingly with their assailant, and many had sex "consensually" (as much as you believe a minor can consent to sexual activity -- but that is a discussion for another day).

The major message these two want to convey is to keep these numbers in perspective. That panicking about this issue and prohibiting teens from going online will only drive them "underground" -- away from healthy discussions.

And given that most sexual abuse happens closer to home, driving your teens away is probably the last thing you want to do if you are really concerned about sexual exploitation.

They must have some pretty good bookmarks...

According to a survey of 750 teens conducted for eCrush, 46% stated they preferred to surf the 'net than go on a date. At least "only" 42% would rather watch TV...

Is dating that bad these days, or am I just not going to the right web sites?

Am I paranoid?

I loved the concept of the YouTube democratic debates and I appreciated the fact that there was a token question about sexuality education! However, to my chagrin, the video to that particular question on the site only has the actual question as asked by Planned Parenthood and not the two responses by Edwards and Obama (note: blogs written by people with more sexually conservative blogs are appalled by the fact that the question was actually asked by an affiliate of PPH called Planned Parenthood Votes and believe that this is an example the pervasive liberal media bias and promotion of improper values).

If you want to hear the question along with the two responses, as well as commentary about them, go to American Sexuality Magazine's blog.

Reality Bites

Newsweek covers Second Life, a virtual 3-D world where almost anything goes for the over 8 million people who roam there. And although Newsweek overall gives the concept of a computer-based society a positive spin, it does point out some of the negatives, such as the incredibly controversial criminal investigation in Germany against people who have virtual sex with a child avatar (note: the person behind the avatar was a legal adult).

There are stories of people who have become IRL millionaires through selling items such as clothing and land in Second Life. There are case studies of how businesses are using Second Life to enhance customer service. But the most startling statistic to me? "By 2011, four of every five people who use the Internet will actively participate in Second Life or some similar medium."

We need to treat this prediction as truth of the inevitable and start teaching virtual etiquette and develop general relationship education to prepare for this phenomenon.

Post It, and They Will Come

Controversy continues over the running of a Trojan ad, Evolve, which features a bar scene where women are surrounded by pigs. Then, one pig goes to the restroom and returns with a condom, and transforms into an attractive man.

Sort of a cute idea, trying to not only normalize condom use, but also make it look as though condoms make you hot -- better than sending the message that beer makes you attractive. But apparently not everyone feels that way. According to the Kaiser Women's Health Report, the Pittsburgh market is not receiving the Trojan ad favorably; in contrast, Seattle has given it "the green light." This follows on the heels of the announcements by CBS and Fox that they would not run the ad because, according to the New York Times, "Fox said it objected to the message that condoms can prevent pregnancy, while CBS said it was not 'appropriate'" (note: these are the stations that bring you such shows as CSI, full of sexual fetish story lines and the recently canceled OC, which oozed sex).

But not to worry, the same NYT article also states that: "The commercial has been viewed nearly 100,000 times on YouTube, while trojanevolve.com has drawn more than 400,000 unique visitors since June 18." Of course, this topic has been discussed on several blogs, such as this one as well as the widely read and respected Huffington Post, drawing even more attention to it.

Let's hope these conversations get people -- especially the younger generation -- to talk about safer sex. No one wants to be a pig.

(insert phallic joke here)

A little break from my normal serious posts. BoingBoing, a "directory of wonderful things" covered a story close to my town about some controversial bollards that have been installed in the city of Keizer, OR. Personally, I didn't think they looked THAT phallic, but my vote doesn't count in that more conservative area of Oregon.

What I find wonderful is that several people have now posted numerous comments to this blog entry, adding their own links to and pictures of the most phallic landmarks throughout the world. Ha! Now people of all ages have convenient access to penis- (and boob-, and even a "moon-") look-alikes everywhere!

I don't think this is what the citizens of Keizer had in mind when they began complaining.

One Abstinence Program Down, Many More to Go

The federal Title V abstinence education program has expired -- however, President Bush is still looking to increase the amount of abstinence-only dollars from $163 million to $191 million for the fiscal year 2008.

Abstinence-only funds require that its recipients teach that sex outside of marriage has harmful physical and psychological effects and bans most discussions concerning condoms and other contraceptive methods. These programs alienate children of single or non-heterosexual parents, sexual minority youth, and teens who have already chosen to have sex. In it's earlier versions, this program also implied that children who had been abused or raped had been "sexually active," but thankfully that had changed. Still, there are a lot of people this program does not speak to. Is it possible to create a sex ed program that speaks to everyone?

Smile! You've been cyberbullied

A new study by Pew Internet and American Life reports that 9% of social networking youth have had an "embarrassing picture" of them posted online. In addition, 16% reported that they have had a rumor spread about them online. Although the content of this cyberbullying is not sexual by default, the content of rumors often is about sex. As for pictures? They could range from partying (or, more likely, its after effects) or just a picture showing someone's "bad side." But they could also show people hooking up or pretending to be a Girl Gone Wild.

When conducting my own interviews of college youth about their use of social networking sites, I heard of a group of guys who contacted girls for anonymous sex. While the boys were receiving blow jobs, they took pictures of the act and posted them on their MySpace accounts -- and showed off the evidence of their conquests to anyone in the dorm who cared to see. Another group of guys turned on their webcams before taking a girl to bed after a party. I am not sure what happened to those videos.

Point is, it is really easy for "embarrassing pictures" to end up online. Is it more common among high school or college youth? Who knows, but the long-term effects can be serious and devastating -- not just humiliating.